|"Five Minutes Fast"|
|June 15, 2011|
|Written by||Bryan Q. Miller|
|Cover by||Dustin Nguyen|
|Interior Art by||Pere Perez|
|Colored by||Guy Major|
|Lettering by||Carlos M. Mangual|
|Edited by||Katie Kubert, Janelle Asselin|
|Previous Issue||Batgirl #21|
|Next Issue||Batman, Incorporated Special #1|
"It's me who should be jealous, Steph'nie...you are most certainly not a sidekick." - Beryl Hutchinson
Stephanie Brown arrives in London for a top-secret Batman Incorporated assignment, in which the actual Greenwich Mean has been stolen! As all of London literally grinds to a halt, it's up to Batgirl and Squire to save the United Kingdom.
Summary of Stephness: Steph arrives at home, ready for some well-earned slumber, but finds a Batman, Incorporated package activating her. One trans-Atlantic flight later, Steph reflects on Bruce's plan with Batman Inc, and her cover identity of Constance Aberthine. Looking very grown up in her skirt, jacket, pearls, and glasses ensemble (all in eggplant, of course), Steph meets Beryl Hutchinson, Squire to England's Knight. Together, they ride in a sidecar, with Squire showing Steph the sights along the way (utilizing some really wild driving).
All is going well, and Steph is debating with Beryl about more sightseeing before meeting Batman, when an alarm sounds at the Ministry of Management and Proper Accord. Batgirl and Squire find a tough gang led by the Orphan (who always wants some more), who wants to steal the Greewich Mean. Stealing it (which apparently means drawing a sword from a technological stone) unplugs a crack in time, freezing everyone. Steph and Beryl as blasted by time lightening when Orphan draws the sword, which gives them some insulation from the frozen time. They track Orphan and his urchins down in time to stop them from killing Knight.
Steph figures out that the urchin gang members have clocks that keep them from freezing in time, so she steals one, saves Beryl from freezing as the energy that hit them wears off by throwing it to her, while she picks Orphan's pocket and steals the Mean sword back.
Batgirl and Squire spend a bit of time (literally!) getting rid of the bombs and traps Orphan left, and put the Mean back in its stone, resigned to not getting credit for saving the world. As they head back to Steph's rendezvous point, Steph tells Beryl she's worried about the trust Batman is placing in her. But Beryl tells her that even though her partnership with Knight is wonderful, she envies Steph, because she's not a sidekick.
At the hotel, Steph is ready for some well-earned slumber, but Batman shows up, interrupting her chocolate-munching with a stern question about why she is late. To Be Continued!Back Matter: Behind the Scenes: Though the text in this issue says "To Be Continued in Batman, Inc. #9", that series concluded with #8. The events of #9 were folded into the Batman, Incorporated Special, part 1, "The School of Night." As one of the few Batman, Inc. agents who had her own ongoing title, Batgirl got an issue to setup Grant Morrison's use of her character to prevent fans from wondering, "Why is Steph across the pond for a month?"
In the trade paperback of "The Lesson," the "To Be Continued" text was removed.